Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
