Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
