There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
