Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
