As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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