something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
bring money and cleavage
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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