im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
