So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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