Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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