Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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