kristin has been a bad kristin
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Drake has all the answers
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
