it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
