She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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