They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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