saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize