bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
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I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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