i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
