I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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