I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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