let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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