You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
