no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
