sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
did you get engaged???
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
