Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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