Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
