The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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