My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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