Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
