Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
