Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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