My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he thought i was a dude.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Even my vagina gasped.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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