Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
