remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
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What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
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