Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was born a porn star she said
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
