beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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