We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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