Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
