..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
