the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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