3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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