So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Randomize
