So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
