2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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