But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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