she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
babies were throwing up all over the place
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
