I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize