chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
