I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize