forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize