Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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