So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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