Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
