real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
