I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
