haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
