Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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