i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
