my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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