so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize