she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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