# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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