I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
