It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
there is glitter all over my balls
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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